Spilled Milk at Church
Let me tell you, the expression “no use crying over spilled milk” is true, helpful, and challenging. It’s not that easy! Sometimes, grown men have to remind themselves not to freak out over a quarter cup of spilled milk (no matter how much preschool folly toppled the beverage!). We often make a fuss when we don’t need to, don’t we? I think that’s what Paul’s addressing in an infamous Philippian passage:
“I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.” (Philippians 4:2–3, ESV)
Euodia and Syntyche’s “Big Deal”
Many commentators make a big deal of this text. Squinting for a clue to the juicy gossip Paul intentionally conceals, people have concocted outlandish theories of opposition, heresy, and immorality. That misses the subtle point of the text. Two considerations start to clarify what the “big deal” is in Philippi.
First, it’s not a BIG deal like sexual immorality or heresy. Paul handles heresy differently in Galatians, and sexual immorality differently in 1-2 Corinthians. It’s not even as big of a deal as disagreement over evangelistic sincerity or methodology! Unlike the phonies in Chapter 1 (Philippians 1:17-18), these women were side-by-side laborers with Paul. Paul calls them to agree “in the Lord” because he thinks their Christian commitment matters to them. So they don’t deny the gospel, preach another one, or live as lesbians (as some have argued) - it’s not THAT big of a deal.
Second, it was a big enough deal for Paul to write a letter, send Timothy, and consider interrupting his missionary progress to address himself (Philippians 2:19-30). Many believe this conflict is the occasion for the letter! Paul has spent three chapters putting himself, Timothy, Epaphroditus, and Jesus forward as examples of selflessness and humility. In Chapter 1, one of Paul’s primary exhortations to the church is that they “strive side by side” — the same word he uses to describe how these women “labored side by side” with him. Moreover, “agree in the Lord” could be translated “be of the same mind in the Lord,” like in chapter two,
“Complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.” (Philippians 2:2, ESV)
So, it’s definitely not just a minor personality clash. Even though it’s not THAT big of a deal, it still is a big deal.
When Milk Spills at Church
What we’re left with is this ambiguous category between catastrophic error and petty little stuff. Things that are a big enough deal to upset women whom Paul thinks highly of, threaten church unity, or hinder the effectiveness of the church’s mission… yet Paul seems to be content “either way.”
He doesn’t say, “Search the Scriptures and find out which one of you is wrong.” No, he says, “Please, I’m urging you. Find a way to agree.”
What a helpful picture this is — and it makes sense! In Christ, we are free from the law to righteousness through faith (Gal 3:18-29). For example, for some, it is a sin to eat meat sacrificed to idols, and for others, it’s not (1 Cor 10:23-30). There are things that two believers may disagree about and neither is really wrong, while both are mostly right! It sounds crazy, but it happens often…
Susie wants to start an apologetics class, saying that faith is based on evidence (2 Peter 1:16), and Ellen says it’s the assurance of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1) on her way to choir.
Jim thinks the church should partner with another congregation for ministry (2 Corinthians 9:2), but Stu thinks their witness feels insincere (Revelation 2:2).
The pianist thinks the violin should double the melody (Psalm 33:3), but the guitar player thinks the violinist should lay out a verse so the singing is more prominent (Psalm 33:3).
Reggie thinks game nights are the secret sauce of church fellowship and daily life together (Acts 2:46) but Archibald could not care less about Settlers of Catan. “We should be reading our Bibles!” he declares (Acts 2:42). Then, as soon as church is over, he wants to ask Harold about the weather forecast and his garden.
The result of this petty fussing often looks just like Archibald’s hypocrisy. So, I’m begging you, agree in the Lord. Consider the interests of others as more significant than your own and don’t cry over spilled milk.